The Curse of Billy Buffalo

Mike Sullivan January 7, 2014 3
The Curse of Billy Buffalo

On September 3rd, 2000 the Buffalo Bills introduced Billy Buffalo. A lovable furry blue buffalo that would be the team’s first costumed mascot since the Bills put a bullet in “Huddles” in the 1980s. (Thanks @BillTooke for the Huddles info) Apparently all of the winning that the team had been doing over the past decade wasn’t enough to engage the Buffalo Bills rabid fanbase.

Billy signified the dawn of a new era at One Bills Drive.

A new era that replaced the snow fenced, grass fields of Fredonia with the corporate tented turf field of St. John Wegmans.

tenttc

A new era that replaced the beautiful shine of multiple Lamar Hunt Trophies with the matted blue fur of a 7 foot bad luck charm.

lamarhunt

That’s right, the Buffalo Bills have not made the playoffs since Billy Buffalo was introduced. Coincidence?

I think not.

But WHY?

I think we can find most of our answers by looking at where this monster came from.

Here‘s highlights from Billy Buffalo’s official bio from BuffaloBills.com:

Age: 13

The EXACT same number of years as the Buffalo Bills Playoffs Drought.

College: Bovine University

I checked and this is NOT a real educational institution. Instead, I discovered that it is a Simpsons reference:

with quite a disturbing Urban Dictionary entry:

“Bovine University

Where cows (TKIG note: Or in this case Buffalo) go after “graduating” from the high-density feed lots. The process cows (TKIG note: Or in this case Buffalo) go through to get from the ranch to your stomach. Contains the killing floor. Don’t let the name throw you. It’s not really a floor, it’s more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.”

bisonmeat

Seems about right.

Birth Date: September 3, 2000

Oh, I remember it well…

It was Sunday Night September 3rd, 2000 and the Bills had a huge Sunday Night Football rematch against the Tennessee Titans. The Titans had defeated the Bills just months earlier via the controversial Homerun Throwback Play.

Before the players were introduced, T-Rac the Titans Raccoon Mascot sat at midfield of Ralph Wilson Stadium, sipping a beverage and watching Frank Wychek throw a forward pass on the big screen:

tractitan

Then he emerged:

billycycle

Billy Buffalo cruised into Ralph Wilson Stadium on a low rider motorcycle and pretty violently assaulted the Titans mascot. It looked like this, but it was more violent and nobody broke it up:

An inauspicious start for sure!

Favorite Foods: Fruits, vegetables, buffalo chicken wings, Gatorade, and ice cold milk!

What true Buffalonian in their right mind calls them “Buffalo” Chicken Wings???

And milk, huh?

I guess I get it. The Buffalo Bills have a long history of enjoying a nice thick pitcher of milk on a hot day:

wk7milk

Favorite Songs: The Shout Song”, Talkin’ Proud”, Red, White and Blue

OK, but Neneh Cherry’s “Buffalo Stance” is mysteriously absent from this list.

Favorite Movies:NFL Archives: Buffalo Bills vs. Houston Oilers 1993 AFC Playoffs”, “NFL: History of the Buffalo Bills

Ummmmmm Have you ever heard of GREATEST BUFFALO BILLS MOVIE EVER called “Second String”????

secondstringbanner

Is it because you hate the Buffalo Bills and never want to see them win a Super Bowl in real life, Billy?

I THOUGHT SO!

Career Statistics:

Year:  Club:  Games Played/Games Started:

2000  Buffalo  10/10
2001  Buffalo  10/10
2002  Buffalo  10/10
2003  Buffalo  10/10
2004  Buffalo  10/10
2005  Buffalo  10/10
2006  Buffalo  10/10
2007  Buffalo  10/10
2008  Buffalo  10/10
2009  Buffalo  10/10
2010  Buffalo  10/10
2011  Buffalo  10/10
2012  Buffalo  10/10

Not sure what all of these 10s are. But here’s a few numbers.

In the 14 seasons BEFORE Billy Buffalo was named the team mascot:

Winning Percentage: .605

Regular Season Wins: 135

Bills Head Coaches: 3

Bills Starting QBs: 5

Playoff Appearances: 10

Super Bowl Appearances: 4

In the 14 seasons SINCE Billy Buffalo was named the team mascot:

Winning Percentage: .344

Reg Season Wins: 77

Bills Head Coaches: 7

Bills Starting QBs: 174

Playoff Appearances: 0

Super Bowl Appearances: Please

 

This is a problem and a serious one. Bills Fans deserve better.

billsfanssnow

We love our team and desperately want them to go back to the playoffs.

I’m not asking him to visit Charlie the Butcher. (yet)

charlie2

Just take a little time off. We can call it a leave of absence. We can cite health reasons. We can say he wanted to spend more time with his family.

victorbull

Let’s just remove Billy Buffalo from the equation for one year and see what happens.

lombardi_clean

We might be surprised!

Go Bills! Playoffs 2014!!!

3 Comments »

  1. Brian Koperski January 8, 2014 at 7:49 pm -

    I believe those 10s are for the 10 home games? 8 regular season, 2 preseason. Only this would also be inaccurate as a result of that butthole of a city up north. They both need to go. Yesterday. Go Bills.

  2. Mike Sullivan January 8, 2014 at 9:40 pm -

    That makes sense. He does also make the trip to Toronto so that would make 10 a year. Football Outsiders says that is a useless stat anyway.

  3. Steve January 12, 2014 at 9:50 am -